christianity – The Art of the Party

When the biggest worry on The Big Day is remembering a choreographed waltz, it really allows the reception to be what it’s intended to be: a celebration! I can skip the “cold feet” and “nervous jitters”, because I’m just getting dolled up with my girls to announce & share my marriage to Steven with the people we’re most-loved and surrounded by! Not missing out on a thing! I’m still going to cry like a baby while reciting my vows to nearly 200 people over a microphone, we will be exchanging wedding rings for the first time, and the look on Steven’s face when he sees me walking down a dramatic lake-front aisle in my ballgown for the first time, will be something to relish.

But all jokes aside, we were celebrating our 2nd year together a few weeks back, and while reflecting on the last year of some of our favorites memories, we agreed that 04.22.18 was a really wonderful day. We had just moved into our new home, my parents were seeing the renovations for the first time, AND it was exceptionally beautiful to see our families come together in an intimate way without any expectations! We cried, we laughed, we dined. Everything was so simple and organic. And now we can experience all the glitz and glam on another day with even more family & friends. This is what I call a win-win. I’m spoiled.

Nearly two-thirds of married couples today have lived together prior to nuptials. And research is showing that cohabitation and divorce aren’t as closely related as we once thought. But, as a girl who never moved her life’s possessions in with a boyfriend, the thought of sharing one roof with a man for the first time was something I didn’t take lightly. What if he left his dishes in the sink , I didn’t take my shoes off at the door, or Neville decided the leather recliner was his glorified litter box just one-too-many times and it spiraled into a argument-of-no-return with the pressure of saying I do-for-life all the week before the wedding… I wanted to avoid the what-ifs and because we believe that marriage is a covenant, and not a contract, I felt very encouraged to marry before the excitement of living together lessened. I didn’t want routine, nuances, or wedding-day-stress to dampen our newly-wed spirits. I didn’t want to come back from the honeymoon and say, “well! it’s all over…”. I wanted to soak in the newness as long as I could. Experience newly-wed life slowly, leisurely, and without all the attention (insert sigh).

I don’t care who you are, growing up your Mama definitely told you (at least once) that sex is something special and to be shared with the one you love. Or in my family, with the one you marry. Now, whether you subscribe to that value or not, there’s one thing most can agree on, and it’s that waiting for marriage can eliminate a lot of heartache & drama that could have been otherwise been avoided if you listened to your parent’s Godly wisdom. Sometimes (and by sometimes, I mean always) they know what’s best for you.
- Endless wrong turns, and whole lot of conviction later, and I went chasing after the only one Who’s ever calmed my most vulnerable needs and found I myself in a dark, loud, fully occupied, 10,000 person auditorium, signing to my heavenly Father. I hadn’t felt this feeling since high school weekend retreats, but this time the high didn’t end on Monday morning, I knew it wasn’t the coffee, and I couldn’t wait to go back the next week. Rebuilding my relationship with God and learning more about His character was my new binge series.
- 2 years later on summer night in my Hyde Park apartment bedroom floor, I accepted Jesus into my heart and I felt his forgiveness and love grace my life. And it was then that I promised Him that I would turn away from things that were not of He and His teachings. I met Steven the following week. This isn’t coincidence friends, it’s called blessing.

Steven is a man of God. Meeting him was an invitation to turn a page and begin a new life that looked a lot different from my ways of the past. I trusted where God was leading me and being around Steven’s hard work and growing success was thrilling and inspiring. Somethings Steven and I shared immediately were faith and family values; we knew we wanted the same winnings in life, and we believe in bringing God glory through our marriage. So, when the time came when my lease expired and the house renovation was complete, I told Steven and our parents that because we were moving into our new home together, that we wanted to do what we knew was always right and get married. I knew God had already forgiven me for my old ways, and I had publicly declared my life to Jesus through water baptism the year prior, but this was different. This was between me and God and I wanted to make him joyful and proud. I wanted to go against the current of social norms and to be (don’t shutter) obedient to the His Word knowing that my more of my chains would be broken.
The peace that fell over me on April 22nd still hasn’t left me. I feel whole and calm. I feel righteous and empowered. Protected. God is at the center of our marriage and He is the foundation for our future family. We wont be broken. Marriage of the world can be defeated, but a marriage of Heaven conquers the enemy. We are doing a great work and we cannot come down!